As far as I could tell (which is never the whole story, of course), the sermon turned out pretty well.

The first thing I found helpful was something that I have been working harder on of late after reading Andy Stanley's book Communicating for a Change. He reminds us that the sermon shouldn't get into the answers presented in the text until we have fully established the sense of need and relevance for our hearers. So, I spent probably 10 minutes on that, far more than what we think the usual introduction should last. I gave personal examples, as Andy recommends. I gave general human situations that anyone could identify with. Then I settled into the direct relevance of the text: the situations in church life that call for patience and forbearance. I used a familiar analogy: the church as a gathering of porcupines who have trouble getting close. By the time we came to the text, I felt as though we all were engaged.

As we looked at the teaching of the text, I made three simple observations (I have learned to be confident in making what appear to be simple observations from the text. The Word is powerful.)

My first observation came from the context. Ephesians 4:1–6 shows that a godly person is concerned about what is best for the general peace and unity of the larger group: marriage, family, church. So we walk in patience and forbearing love because the larger circle of relationships is more important than how we feel at the moment.

Second, Ephesians 4:2 specifically mentions the motive and method of love. This is related to the first observation but says it in another way. Love means seeking the best for others. The strong are to bear with the weak. Sometimes that means putting up with their needs and sins quietly. Other times it means patiently teaching and confronting them.

Third, I noted that patiently forbearing with others requires great strength (v. 2 "bearing with" suggests carrying heavy loads; v. 3 "make every effort" suggests maximum effort and persistence). And here I came to the main idea I wanted to leave with people: Loving those who try our patience is a test of strength. Getting angry feels strong; losing your temper feels strong. But it takes far greater strength to forbear others patiently. (Ouch, I just realized that I missed a great connection: Proverbs 16:32, "Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city.")

Because this was the main idea I wanted people to take away, I took time for a major illustration and inspiration here (here again, Andy Stanley has prodded me to work harder at inspiration at the end of the message). I played a scene (DVD chapter 12; 00:45:24 – 00:49:46) from the movie Facing the Giants, in which one of the football players crab-crawls 100 yards in a training exercise carrying another football player on his back. My point: God calls us to carry others. To patiently forbear with others is to carry them in love.

I concluded by pointing out that none of us has the strength for this. The strength to be patient and forbearing must come from God, who is patient, slow to anger, abounding in love. The fruit of the Spirit is patience and self-control. I quoted Philippians 4:13. As Bryan Chapell reminds preachers (in Christ-Centered Preaching), every call for human virtue must bring us to Christ as the source.

My title for this message was A Test of Strength.