Two days ago, I preached a sermon on Proverbs 5 as part of the series I’m doing this summer on the book of Proverbs. The topic of the chapter is sex – specifically, avoiding sexual immorality (represented by the adulteress) and enjoying this incredible gift in the context of marriage. All of this is to be done in the fear of God (see 5:21). There’s a lot I could suggest when preaching texts which focus on sex, but I have one concern which eclipses all others: Sermons on sex must not be sermons on sex. Let me explain!
Sermons on texts like Proverbs 5 must be, first and foremost, sermons on God! These sermons must unpack the character of God and how it relates to God’s gift of sex. They must disclose how the gospel provides the ultimate answer to the expression of our sexuality. To be sure, I talked frankly about sex last Sunday. I warned against pornography, oral sex, and other forms of sexual immorality which are prevalent in our culture. I also challenged listeners to be “led astray/intoxicated” with the sexual love of one’s husband or wife (see Proverbs 5:19 and the verb in line 2 which reappears in 5:20 and 5:23). Sex is a wonderful gift! But I did all of this in the context of 5:21:
For your ways are in full view of the LORD,
and he examines all your paths.
In addition to developing Proverbs 5:21, I also helped my congregation think theologically about the relationship between our awareness of God and our sexual behavior. Following John Piper’s lead, I argued: “The greatest safeguard in the world against sexual immorality is a deep longing for God, a deep intimacy with God, a conviction that tasting God’s glory and majesty is the most satisfying, most inspiring, most ecstatic, most fulfilling experience and most awesome privilege in all of the universe!” That’s the context in which God’s people obey God’s instructions about the use of this gift.
So, whenever you preach a biblical text which discusses sex, look for the character of God and the concern for His glory. It’s there in 1 Corinthians 6:18-20, 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8, Matthew 5:27-30 (see 5:8, 17-20 for the context), etc. To be biblical, sermons about sex must focus on the gift (sex) in the context of the Giver (God) of the gift!
Posted by Steve Mathewson at 9:09 AM on June 26, 2007
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Whoa! A great post.
Thanks for pointing out to us what I think is the greatest point in preaching -not only in sermons about sex but in ALL our preaching- that God is to be the prime subject of our preaching. I personally believe that lots of preachers have failed to make a mark simply because they have failed to point to God in their sermons. All preaching should be Theo-centric.
I speak as someone disillusioned by church. Not by the Bible, or by Jesus of the Bible, but by the preachers who claim to preach Jesus of the Bible. Now, God forbid that I should judge His servants. Yet I know that I'm not the only one that feels this way.
Thanx again for the wonderful post. Let's put God back to where He belongs - to the center of all our preaching.
Posted by: Moses Kimani on June 27, 2007
One of my frustrations has been that the "church" has spent so much time telling people to avoid sexual impurity, but not given anywhere near enough information on purity, and proper sexual relations with one's spouse. People really do need to know how God intended sex to be as we are inundated with images and information which is against what God meant. In the teen realm, they are misinformed about what sexual relations include as they believe what Hollywood and media has blasted at them where one-night-stands, and "heavy petting" are considered normal on the first date. The more the church addresses truth, the more informed we are and the better the information parents can give their children in the home. Kudos to the brave who address this topic. Keep it up, we've an epidemic that is destroying many lives!
Posted by: Mary Ann on July 6, 2007
Thanks, MOSES, for challenging us to put God at the center of our sermons. It's easy to reduce the Scriptures to instructions that help 'me' live 'my' life. Or course, God is concerned about my life, but it's in the context of relationship with Him.
MARY ANN, you are so right about the need for the church to speak about pursuing purity and joy in sex as opposed to spending all our time talking about avoiding impurity. Thanks for the reminder.
Posted by: Steve Mathewson on July 6, 2007
I agree that intimacy is a Gift from God, this includes the physical aspect of sex, as it is expressed between Husband and Wife. Herein, mind, body and soul unite in perfect communion with each other.
I am concerned that refering to this act as sex is misleading. The bodies of people can have sex. The bodies of animals can have sex. But only Christians can have the fullness of this communion. The intimacy that comes with this profound love. This act of pure love, which includes God, and hetrosexual spouses, is a form of prayer. It is a form of prayer in that it glorifies God, the creator of all things.
Engaging in sexual conduct, outside of the martial context and the context of intimacy, is demeaning to the human person. It is demeaning in that it places an emphasis on our bodies at the expense of our mind and soul. Succumbing to such carnal involvement, darkens the light of our soul (places our soul under a basket) and impeds our ability to realize our true destiny as inheritor’s of the divine kingdom. We are, afterall, created in His Image and Likeness. We defile that likeness everytime we choose the satisfaction of purly physicial needs in opposition to our heart's true desire.
I believe that we must teach our children the importance of intimacy. This issue goes well beyond sex. We live in a society that teaches us that it is alright to not express what we really believe or think. That it is better to "get along" with others than to risk being ostracized for holding our belief sacred. We have taught our children to focus on the appearance and deemphasize the substance. Sex is the outward appearance of things (what we see from the outside), intimacy is the substance (what we are when we look inside). While there are many levels of initmacy based on our Christian relationship God has given us a plan for who, when and under what circumstances we share and experience each level. Our children need to know these things and need to understand a full union and communion with another person is experienced at differnent levels based on our relationship to that other person. And that there is a time and place for each level of union.
If this confuses our children we need to teach them of the model that Christ Himself put forth. Christ is the Bridegroom and the Church is His Bride. It is not by accident that Christ uses this metaphor to describe His relationship to us and our relationship to Him.
Therefore we must all put for the effort to achieve an intimate relationship with each other and to share those special levels of intimacy reserved for the bonds of marriage. It is a model best lived as well as preached.
We must also teach them to embrace their essence, not just do what appears to be right but, live what is right.
I believe that if we do this, our children will develop the appropriate feelings and beliefs about their relatinoships. And sex will never be an issue.
Posted by: John on July 6, 2007